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by is_this_a_mistake



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Confessions, Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), Crowley Needs a Hug (Good Omens), Crowley needs self-confidence, Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:54:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29521176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/is_this_a_mistake/pseuds/is_this_a_mistake
Summary: It started with drinking, but they hadn’t even had much.It started with the End of the World not happening.It started with the Arrangement.It started with often-invented reasons to cross paths with Aziraphale.It started in the Garden, at least it did for Crowley.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 16





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Aziraphale is beautiful. It’s a crime to reserve that word only for women. Though Aziraphale would make a beautiful woman- or feminine-appearing being - Crowley isn’t picky on terms. But Aziraphale seems attached to this form, and he is truly lovely.

It started with drinking, but they hadn’t even had much.

It started with the End of the World not happening.

It started with the Arrangement.

It started with often-invented reasons to cross paths with Aziraphale.

It started in the Garden, at least it did for Crowley. With the beautiful angel who gave the flame sword to the humans because of a feeling that it was the right thing to do. And sheltered

Crowley- Crawley then- under his wing from the rain.

In six thousand years, he hadn’t seen all of his angel naked before. And it looked like he just might...

He’d been tempted, so tempted, when he’d inhabited the glorious form. And he was a demon, temptation was his game, including tempting himself. But he had resisted.

Aziraphale plays with Crowley’s ribs, his navel, the top of his trousers.

“Go ahead then. Weren’t shy when you were bathing me for all the underworld,” Crowley provokes.

Aziraphale blushes prettily, “That was just the trousers, not the pants, though- I’m afraid… a bit peaked down one side. I don’t think anyone saw but me,” he says. “I got in the tub and adjusted without touching.”

Oh, dear, sweet angel.

Crowley had contemplated not having the thing before the switch. He had it gone more often than not these days, with those tight pants. Togas had been far more breathable. Maybe he’d wanted the angel to notice.

Aziraphale pops the button and slides down the zipper. Crowley focuses on his shoes disappearing very intently. More accurately, he shrinks his feet to let the shoes fall off, as he likes the shoes, and that’s the easiest way to do it, and doesn’t even count as a miracle. He lifts his hips and helps in the shoving of the last of his clothes to the floor.

“You are lovely. I- saw you- in the baths of Rome. I- don’t know if you saw me,” Aziraphale says shyly.

“Of course I saw you. What I could of you anyway. You wouldn’t leave the pool. I eventually left as a kindness so your skin wouldn’t slough off and avoided the place after.”

“Oh! You didn’t say anything.”

“What was I supposed to say? When you so obviously didn’t wish me to see you?” Not minding the humans’ gaze.

“Oh, dear, my dear… it wasn’t… the nudity, per say, only that I was having a very difficult time- controlling my reactions.”

“What?”

“I was embarrassed by my erection, dear,” the angel clarifies, as if Crowley doesn’t understand the words.

That had been more than two thousand years ago.

Had _this_ been an option then? No, surely not until Heaven and Hell had been tricked into fucking off. But- that Aziraphale had wanted it…

“May I see now?” Crowley asks properly.

“It’s quite a bit different than yours,” Aziraphale says, warning. Nervous. As if Crowley could have any problem with anything under there.

Crowley watches, attention fully held as his angel- the angel- Aziraphale- unbuttons trousers, and scoots them and the pants off together.

It doesn’t look overly different except quite a bit smaller.

“May I touch?” Crowley asks.

His angel nods.

Crowley’s hand is wide enough to hide all of it inside, when he wraps palm and fingers around it. Stiff. Enough foreskin to just cover the tip when fully aroused. Crowley opens and closes his hand just to look at it.

Perfect.

Inches, centimeters, cubits (well, fractions of a cubit), Crowley doesn’t care to measure. It is perfect. His own looks terribly gauche in comparison. Though that had rather been what he had been going for. There’s certainly never a practical reason for it to hang halfway to his knee when it is still limp, and now to curve up in a great monstrosity, and foreskin hardly visible when erect.

“It’s- well… I first made the effort in Greece, and it was quite the fashion… and I got to rather like it. Not that I don’t like other sizes… just… it started to feel like mine. And I do change some things about myself when needed just… not very quickly or all at once,” he says, “And that hasn’t needed to be one of them. But it can be.”

Greece. Crowley had been around there, of course. It was where quite a lot of action was for a time. But they hadn’t crossed paths much.

But he knew what went on then.

“Greece. Quite a lot happening in those parts. How many young men’s lives did you shape?” Crowley asks, very neutrally. Almost neutrally. Not at all neutrally. And it is the wrong thing to say. Jealous, when he should be reassuring. That every bit of Aziraphale is perfect.

“Oh- oh- well, I- had a student once, well, I suppose I had many students for a bit but one a- truly a- he’d lost his erastês, sudden death, tragic especially when the older man had only been- oh, at most Newt’s age, perhaps. So young. The- well- my student- his name was Kephalos, and I- did get attached but never- certainly never- he did expect a sexual relationship, but he was in mourning, and I- wasn’t really sure about all that. I’d only given myself genitals recently then and- it didn’t seem right. Especially when I think he had been truly in love with Tychon. Kephalos was never the… aloof object of affection that an erômenos was supposed to be in Athens. He was... needy, and I always liked to be needed, I suppose, and I do believe I was good help in his path. He seemed to understand when I had to leave. I know he suspected something unusual about me. I shouldn’t have let myself get so close. It was quite painful when I was called away, but also a relief because I couldn’t- be what he wanted. I never tried to make it something I couldn’t be. Humans are all just so… young. Which isn’t to say I never… partook… in sexual pleasures. I did- though that wasn’t for more than another two millennia... which I thought was moving quite slowly. And there was- never any attachment there, at the gentleman’s club. Now I do wish I’d waited just another few hundred years for it to mean more. Or- asked you if you wanted to sooner, though I don’t know that we could have really enjoyed it before winning our freedom.”

“Winning our freedom?” Crowley asks. Everything… Aziraphale… so much.

“We did, didn’t we? We won everything. We were quite marvelous. I know the children- oh, I probably shouldn’t include Newt and Anathema as children, should I?- were a large part of it, but we did very well. I’m very proud of us. Especially proud of you. And I won’t call that pride a sin.”

“What about fornication?” Crowley asks. “Is that a sin?” Because he always makes an ass out of himself.

“Oh- well… would you like to get married first?” Aziraphale asks back.

Crowley might discorporate right then.

Aziraphale is concerned, “I- am not pressuring, Crowley. Marriage would be a much bigger commitment for us than for mortals.”

“You don’t want that,” Crowley blurts.

“What?”

“You don’t want that. You’ll get tired of me. This is longer than we’ve ever spent together at once already. And you wouldn’t go to Alpha Centauri with me. Not that I blame you. You might like me, but you wouldn’t want to be stuck with just me. So you shouldn’t marry me.”

Aziraphale's look is so horrified that Crowley rushes to apologize, “It wasn’t an insult,” he says. “I don’t mind. I can be happy with now. I like now. Now is great. I didn’t want to ruin it.”  
“Oh, please, Crowley, give me one more chance. Or- I might better ask for more chances than that, because I’m sure I’ll need them.”

What?

“What? I’m- right here. You don’t have to- whatever this is, Angel. Don’t have to apologize for anything.”

“May I please have another chance with your heart, Crowley?” he asks. Begs. “I- promise you I will be more careful with it. I- didn’t know I had it. Which was foolish of me. You’re so beautifully caring. I think you’ve been telling me for millenia and I haven’t- been very good at listening. Of course, you’re the most exquisite being in the universe, my dear. The most exceptional. And I promise to do my very best to protect your exquisite heart.”

“I- I’m not.”

“You are. You’re the most wonderful. You were right every time on the things that mattered. Even in the Garden. I never saw what was so wrong with giving them knowledge and choices either.”

Panic.

“No! You can’t say those things! You might Fall! You- you shouldn’t even touch me. You should- I should leave. What if they find out?!”

Aziraphale shakes his head, “We’re on our own side now. All I want is you. Do you think I’d rather spend one moment in Gabriel’s presence? No, Darling, you are the best of any of us. I- can’t fathom how She couldn’t see it. I think She must.”

“Stop it!” Crowley shouts.

“Oh, dear heart, I don’t want to distress you.”

“Don’t do it, don’t risk it! Don’t risk anything!”

“Crowley, I- don’t want to discount anything you’ve been through. I’m sure it was horrible, Falling. Worse than I could imagine. But it wouldn’t be like that for me- if it happened, which it won’t. If they didn’t do it to me in revenge for everything we- I’ve- already done, I doubt they would for this. But, if they did, I’d still have someone who loved me right here with me, wouldn’t I? With your wonderful, precious heart?”

“I- Angel.”

“May I, Crowley, have the chance to love you? Well, rather, to be in love with you? I suppose I have loved you in some ways for a very, very long time. But- I do not know that I have been in love with you for anywhere near long enough, because never will there be long enough, and I would ask for the opportunity to do so better.”

“Aziraphale,” Crowley whines.

“My name has never sounded lovelier than when you say it, my love.”

His next sound is fully a whimper.

“My dear, would you like to marry me?”

“Can’t go in a church,” Crowley mutters. It is the first, easiest objection that comes to him.

“Oh, dear one, and yet you have for me. That was, perhaps, when I realized I was properly in love with you. When you braved that place for me. And saved my books! I wouldn’t ask you to visit one again, of course. I hope to cause you less pain with my presence, not more.”

“I-’m a demon,” Crowley says. Trying... just one more time. Very un-demonic. To resist when he wants it so very much.

“I don’t see why that would disqualify you. We could have an outdoor ceremony, with lots of plants around, and all our new friends. There’s even plenty of proper ordained ministers who wouldn’t mind the look of us, or marrying two men- not that we are men- or- even male exactly. You are so much more adaptable than I. Or- if you don’t want a full ceremony, I certainly performed quite a few weddings myself, over the centuries- millennia- before there was a church that would do it.”

“I love you,” Crowley whispers.

He’d imagined saying it uncountably many times. Had pictured rebukes, that demons couldn’t love. He didn’t really expect that. Aziraaphale wouldn’t outright say Crowley was incapable of it, but he might not really believe him. Mostly, he pictured his angel uncomfortable. Pitying, perhaps.

Aziraphale possesses the most radiant smile in heaven or earth. Crowley knows, so he could say that. And there certainly aren’t any worth comparing to below.  
“Thank you, my dear love. I love you too. Isn’t that the most wonderful? Loving ‘too’. I think it is wondrous.”

Crowley had lost his erection at some point. Didn’t know what to do or say. He was crying a bit. The eyes-watering, slow sort.

It is wondrous.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t write in present tense, so this became an experiment piece for me, writing the present in present tense and the thoughts of the past in past tense. It made perfect sense to me, so I hope it wasn’t too disorienting of a thing to read.


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